It is Thanksgiving (Almost)
Well we’re almost there. For those of you not smugly sitting at home, beating off furiously while watching multiple episodes of Sports Center on repeat, there’s just a few hours left of pretending to...
View ArticleLUKE KUECHLY MAKING FINAL ADJUSTMENTS TO REFEREE BEFUDDLE RAY
CHARLOTTE – In preparation for the upcoming matchup with the New Orleans Saints, reigning AP Defensive Rookie of the Year Luke Kuechly is making last minute modifications to his Referee Befuddle Ray....
View ArticleMLB Saves leaders traded, no ones gives a shit
Jim Johnson focusing on where to throw his next wild pitch And just like that, it’s over. Last night, Jim Johnson was unceremoniously shipped off to Oakland for Rickie Weeks’ brother, Jemile Weeks....
View ArticleNFL WEEK 14 – A Bard’s Tale
Every so often, we are blessed to have a majestic bard that visits the drunk tank. His visits bring incredible tales and prophecies told through the art of poetry and song. This past week he came to...
View ArticleWelcome To the Drunk Tank
Thanks for taking the time to check us out. Take a look around and we hope you like being in the Drunk Tank enough to come back. Email comments/suggestions/rants to drunktankheroes@gmail.com
View ArticleYankees Spend a Year Trying to Get Under $189 Million Payroll…Spend Almost...
Well after spending a year starting guys who would have been cut from your high school baseball team in order to reach the 189 million dollar payroll limit to get under the luxury tax, the Yankees...
View Article‘Who the Fuck Even Coaches the Titans Now?’ Wonders Marci Munchak
Nashville – Marci Munchak, the wife of a former All-Pro defensive lineman for the Houston Oilers realized today that she had literally no idea who coached the franchise for which her husband played for...
View ArticleJaguars Vs. Texans Is Even More Depressing Than You Thought
Just in case you were depressed about the season your team was having, remember it could always be worse. The Jacksonville fan base is 20% fake blonde woman, 10% doe-eyed children and 70% empty seats...
View ArticleLe’Veon Bell plans to (Come back from the dead and) play this week
Oh neat. Le’Veon Bell is going to play. It’s really good to see a rookie working hard to fight through an injury. Gotta wonder what pesky running back injury finally got to him. Strained Hammy? Pulled...
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Friday night! Which means it’s almost Saturday! And then it might as well be Sunday….and then…wait. Fuck it’s already over. Be good and don’t do anything we wouldn’t do- Santa is watching!
View ArticleOlympic Hero is a terrible Intern
Yesterday, Michael Phelps “took over” the Baltimore Ravens’ Twitter feed during their game with the Minnesota Vikings. Basically, this means that instead of a well informed, hard-working intern...
View ArticleAnother $75 down the drain- Top 5 fantasy football busts
By: Sneds Guest Author Time! It’s that time of the year again. The time when fantasy footballers everywhere are either basking in the glory that is their playoff squad, or avoiding contact with friends...
View ArticleWade Boggs accidentally sends out picture of strange woman
Wade Boggs sent out a tweet wishing happy birthday to “his love” accompanied by this grainy photo. Happy Birthday my love!!! http://t.co/3Swk9I1uQm— Wade Boggs (@ChickenMan3010) December 11, 2013 Sorry...
View ArticleGuys…Guys…This Could Happen
Talked to a GM Tuesday who offered this: “No QB is rising faster than Fresno St.’s Derek Carr.” Then asked: “What if Texans have No. 1 pick?— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) December 11, 2013 While most...
View ArticleProfiles from the Drunk Tank #1: John Daly Passes out at Hooters
Profiles from the Drunk Tank looks to honor those beacons of excellence that don’t let the fact that they’re world class athletes get in the way of their ability to get train-wrecked drunk. Many of...
View ArticleThank you Drunk Tankers
As we wrap up another week, we want to thank everyone who has read, supported, and shared with a friend. 5 excruciating days before another weekend. May the Wu be with you.
View ArticleThe horror is real, Cowboys fans
LOOK AWAY GOD DAMMIT! SAVE YOURSELF! The Cowboys are in the playoff hunt, which means the Cowboys are finding increasingly more clever ways to lose. Don’t worry, they’ll find a way to stay relevant...
View ArticleCraigslist Treasure- The Mankind Book Cover
For past treasures, click here The artifact we are taking a look at for today’s “Craigslist Treasure” is a set of 35 Mankind book covers. From the seller’s description: “35 bookcovers total. Mankind is...
View Article5 board games to never ever play with your family
Christmas is the time of year for many things: Santa brawls, girls in slutty elf costumes, egg nog that’s ninety-five percent liquor, and board games. It’s the only time of year they’re bought because...
View ArticleThe Definitive Guide to Sitting Down: Christmas Shopping Edition
I drove a 1999 Chevy Blazer for 3 years longer than I should have. I couldn’t afford the repairs and certainly couldn’t even come close to affording a new car. I was stuck in car purgatory and I could...
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